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Short Story: "Sendaway"

PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 9:14 pm
by Alicorn
Sendaway. Fantasy, < 5,600 words.

Re: Short Story: "Sendaway"

PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 11:04 pm
by DanielH
It seems like the Deathbanes would be happy to have people killing Deaths, even if they weren’t the same person. Why do they only let “born Deathsbanes” (which I’m guessing means “knighted Deathsbanes”) get swords and training?

I suppose for training it’s easier to teach yourself than somebody else, but why aren’t they selling the swords to anybody who does want one (even if so few people who aren’t them do)?

Re: Short Story: "Sendaway"

PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 11:06 pm
by Lambda
Presumably deathbane swords are nontrivial to make.

Re: Short Story: "Sendaway"

PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 11:08 pm
by Alicorn
The swords are nontrivial, they are very efficient at teaching more of them and have no particular skill at teaching randos, and the swords would be dangerous in untrustworthy hands.

Re: Short Story: "Sendaway"

PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 11:12 pm
by DanielH
How are Deathsbane swords more dangerous than ordinary swords when turned on something which is not a death?

Re: Short Story: "Sendaway"

PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 11:33 pm
by jalapeno_dude
I liked it! You gave a really good sense of Moque's personality, I thought, and the familiars running around after their wizards were gone were a nice touch that made me smile. The last section seemed very abrupt to me, though.

(Also, maybe it makes sense to move the "This story was inspired by a Tumblr post" notice to the end of the story, not the beginning? I clicked on the link and read the post before I read your story, and so already knew about the twist...)

Re: Short Story: "Sendaway"

PostPosted: Fri Apr 10, 2015 11:39 pm
by Alicorn
I'll add a spoiler warning.

Deathsbane swords are basically the Subtle Knife but with selectivity.

Re: Short Story: "Sendaway"

PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 1:49 am
by Tamien
It occurred to me as I was telling my mom about the story - did Moque ever get knighted herself? I assumed it only worked on infants, but I also assumed that every Deathsbane to get a sword had to be knighted first, and she does end up getting her sword. So did they just decide to fudge the rules for her or something? Or is it that the rule really is just "born Deathsbanes" not "Deathsbanes knighted as infants", and so she manages to get in on that technicality?

Re: Short Story: "Sendaway"

PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 2:14 am
by Endovior
Tamien wrote:did Moque ever get knighted herself?


My read was that she did get knighted, as an infant; that's exactly what was happening when she was basically kidnapped. Hence why she was the kind of person who'd really WANT a deathsbane sword.

Re: Short Story: "Sendaway"

PostPosted: Sat Apr 11, 2015 2:24 am
by MTC
That’s how I read it too. Before that, I had been expecting the twist to be that she hadn’t been knighted, and I don’t know what would have happened then.